Hi, my name is Samantha & I’ve been clean and sober since December 28th, 2017. This is my “before & after” story.
Growing up my dad was in the Air Force, so I moved around a lot. We moved to Wichita, Kansas when I was 8, and I consider Wichita my hometown. I was raised in church, and could not ask for better parents than what God blessed me with. I’m the youngest of three, with an older brother and sister.
When we moved to Wichita, I began to experience some traumatic events that negatively shaped the way I viewed myself, the world, and most importantly, God. At the age of 10, I started to experience what I now know to be suicidal ideation and was actively self harming by age 11. I tried alcohol when I was 12, but didn’t experience the mental obsession from drugs until I was 13 and tried marijuana for the first time.
By the age of 20, I was putting meth, heroin, and any other substances in my body any way I could, whenever I could. I was already in a downward spiral, but when I discovered intravenous use, my life rapidly disintegrated. I stole from my family and friends, lost multiple jobs and began to sell my soul to support my habit. I was living in my vehicle, constantly wearing myself thin on the search for the next head change. I could feel myself deteriorating every day physically, mentally and spiritually, but all I wanted was the next high. I felt as if I was dead, trapped in a body that was alive. It was miserable!
Shortly after Christmas of 2017, God came to me clear as day and told me that there was a better life he wanted me to live. He sent some of my very close friends into my darkness, and they were the hands that helped pull me up out of my pit of misery and depression. They helped get me on the path of sobriety. Those people were my HIA Family. Soon after, I made my way into the new Hope is Alive Tulsa Women’s Home.
Today, I am a woman of God. I am fully committed to the program of Hope is Alive so that I can live the life that I want to live, be the woman God created me to be & serve others wholeheartedly with no ulterior motives. My thoughts, actions, words, and hopes for my future have completely changed from what I was like before. I am one of the many living examples of the miracles God performs. He has made me a completely different person. I no longer live in fear, misery, guilt, shame or disappointment.
I love the life I get to live today. I have good friends, a job I love, a support system that means more to me than I could ever express, and my family is back in my life again. I am so grateful to be sober, saved, and living a wonderful life.
Today I am a life that is changed & changing. I would like to thank Lance and Allyson and the rest of my HIA family for extending a helping hand to me when I desperately needed it, and for never giving up on me and pushing me to be better.
Lastly, I would like to thank my mom and dad. I would not be where I am without you both. You have never given up on me, have always been there for me, and have provided me with many blessings I do not take for granted. I love you both so much, and am so grateful that God knew what he was doing when he made you both my parents!
Final Word: To any addict that’s still struggling, my advice would be to not give up hope and to be willing to reach out for help. Willingness is the first step. I know how it feels to not want to admit what you’ve been doing, but as soon as you bring it to the light it opens the door for God to come in and radically change your life!
Thanks for letting me share my story!