Three weeks ago I made a tough decision to protect my sobriety; I quit my job! After working at a local restaurant for over a year, loving dearly my position as a cook, addiction infected my working environment from the bottom up. No longer did I feel safe working beside those whom I cared for like family.
Can you believe it?!
Recovery granted me the opportunity to make a choice between preserving my sobriety and peace of mind versus surrounding myself with sick people who could eventually jeopardize the precious gift of living in the solution.
Since my last day of work, I have been persistently applying at various places, volunteering, and persevering in my recovery with patience and trust in God. This is no easy task for someone like me, since I have become quite fond of the financial independence I’ve acquired in recovery. And though I turn to God in all areas of my life, I must admit this process of sole reliance upon Him and His timing in my quest for a new job has challenged me in ways I did not expect.
I have had to adapt to having more time on my hands, which can be a dangerous thing for many addicts and alcoholics. Knowing that routine is essential for the maintenance of serenity I’ve stepped outside of my comfort zone and began volunteering at the YWCA and OCARTA here in OKC, offering my time and services for the mere reward of humility and the simple pleasure of giving back to others. The act of getting outside of my head and helping others is a priceless tool in recovery, bringing much peace and comfort to the self-centered nature of the alcoholic.
I have also been faced with the feelings of fear and anxiety. Knowing these feelings are not of God and quite paralyzing, this time of uncertainty has also presented me with an opportunity for growth upon choosing to make the most of my vulnerability. Because I am blessed with a community of support at Hope Is Alive, combatting the unnerving feelings of fear and anxiety by reaching out for help and encouragement is food for my spirit indeed! How blessed am I to have numerous people to turn to in times of uncertainty and discomfort!
So today I am most grateful for my family in recovery and my family at Hope Is Alive! God works through each of these wonderful men and women whom I do life with in recovery and it is when I am most vulnerable that their love and guidance carry me through my fears and anxieties, bringing me even closer to God and His will for me. Though I do not know what tomorrow brings in terms of a job or financial security, I know that I will persevere with a little help from my friends! #HopeISAlive